Hilton: Place of Death

I am putting my BA to work for APS as a valet supervisor at the largest hotel in southern California, second only to the San Francisco Hilton. And somewhere along the line I became everybody's playtoy.

I am going to use business letter format because I am too lazy to figure out how to indent.

Maybe a month or two ago, I was standing on the hotel driveway, and I happened to notice a pigeon hopping around out on the street in front of the hotel--it was clearly injured. I knew this by the fact that cars were having to stop and swerve to avoid hitting the thing. So I walked over to it, picked it up, and carried it over to a grassy area next to the hotel. I then did some slave duties before going down to the employee cafeteria to get some bread. I figured Pigeon would prefer whole wheat to white. I came back up, and Pigeon had decided to go die in a flowerbed. I threw the bread away.

Yesterday, I'm standing on the hotel driveway, and as I'm walking to a recently-arrived car, I noticed a sparrow or such hopping around on the driveway. Looks injured. Before I can do or say anything, one of our drivers comes barreling around a corner at our company-policy 5 mph limit, and Sparrow or such attempts to hop out of the way. I turn and cringe, and hear a crunch/splurt. Crap. Actually, I reacted by clenching my fists, raising them to about ear level, turning my torso from the waist, and making a face as though I was constipated or worse. Which probably means I looked as gay as the guy who was driving said car does during most of his shift (He's Eugene (goes by Gilbert), and will undoubtedly show up in here again if I don't get a new job soon.).

This was only hours after I first heard about Nick Berg. This is not to make a crass comparison, but to say that I was more sensitive to such an event. Which is exactly what the Hilton does not do to individuals (sensitize). They play the same dumb looped music set of maybe 40 songs over the hotel audio system. Which means that almost everybody starts singing along subconsciously at one point or another. Which means I have to hear our Filipino employees sing that they could be your hero baby.

Last complaint about the Hilton. Not so much a complaint as an example that speaks for itself, with help from me. They have recently decorated the Human Resources office with a baseball theme, including the following large signs: "Human Resources goes the extra inning for you!" Now, this is due to the hotel's recent implementation of their "10 Service Program." Which means every hotel employee has to wear a small blue ribbon attached to their nametag that says "10 Service! It's our commitment to you." I assmue someone thought baseball has 9 innings, so an extra one would make ten! (ten, haha!). What the stupids don't realize is that a baseball team that volluntarily goes 10 innings is a bad team. (Insert short intake of breath and opening of mouth as though about to speak, then silence)

Finally, a quote from the monitors in the hotel cafeteria: I am committed to helping each guest be there best by giving them individualized service and meeting their specific needs. Or something like that. Screw Hilton