Monday, December 13, 2010

How Mitch Miller and the Gang stole Christmas

I like the season of Advent. With the time change, dusk lies waiting for the end of the work day. The sense that one has time to play with, those disposable hours that beg no accounting, fades. Night is coming. It is time to be at home, where artificial lights reflect off the living room windows and keep night’s sentries at bay. This night, supper may be eaten early, and then a board game or book to focus the mind and prepare the body for slumber.

Having spent only one year out of the last 23 outside an academic calendar, I decelerate through December by default. The stress of finals notwithstanding, most elements of my environment herald the coming respite by slowing their pace on a continuum. With Christmas comes family and traditions and a distinct lack of the need to do anything in particular. Such Advent always was for me, and so my ideal is and will be.

I conceived this reflection as a vehicle for the reasoned expression of my distaste for songs that extoll Christmas as an end in itself. I am well aware that for many these songs are nostalgic of Christmases past when things were simpler and times happier. Ever the sentimentalist, I would never begrudge anyone this. Yet, wanting for sympathy, I am left fending off an anachronistic assault that makes silence a salve. Yes, Brenda Lee, this means you.

Bemoaning the commercialization of Christmas is but one of my gripes that have become cliché. Contrary to the ritardando I remember, Black Friday now turns streets and stores into a congested morass of checklists for an entire month. Driving anywhere is made miserable; braving a retail establishment traumatic. At some point, I am obligated either to contribute to the problem or to meet my friendly and familial obligations online, buying an appropriate gift for each person, based either on what they procured for me last year or will this. In addition, I must provide a list of demands to those upon whom, without which, my friendship or bloodsharing would be intolerably burdensome. Far be that from me.

Amid this plague of self-gratifying fervor, I struggle to escape the songs that immortalize the essence of Christmas. Despite the fact that walking might very well be quicker now than driving, there is no winter wonderland out there through which to stroll, no snow or white Christmas. Nor could there be, without making life in southern California even more insufferable. (Can you even imagine?) All the scenes befitting a Saturday Evening Post cover that these songs describe are the antithesis of life here generally, and what we have made Christmas specifically. How does attaching the spirit of rock to Christmas elevate it? Why are we singing about Santa Claus as an infant or an illicit lover? (?!) Beyond the inanity of the songs themselves, why can’t we see the irony when these songs are being used to promote the materialism that we so often bemoan? Wading through exhausted shoppers is made no less miserable when I’m told that in a city somewhere it is Christmastime and children are laughing and treasure-laden shoppers are snow-crunching and somehow the utter madness of it all is totally lost on every last one of them. If I must boil my irritation down to a simple, bitter reduction sauce, it is that I do not see those who sing or enjoy these songs doing anything to promote or obtain any such joyful state. Rather, they imbue every aspect of the season with worry and demand. We have too much Christmas to enjoy Advent. Instead of waiting hopefully for what was and is and is to come, we obsess over the exaggerated window dressing of a season that is intended to reflect our focus inward but instead scatters our attention toward anything but what truly is.

Meanwhile, behind and beneath the chaotic rush to make it to Christmas with enough virtue left to enjoy it (and money left to buy food in January), Advent begins the church year with a promise of hope and rest and the ultimate realization of human expectation. Prepare the way to your hearts, for the Lord is coming.

I am still getting used to the idea that Christmas carols should be sung during Christmas and not advent; and, while practicing this would make them perhaps as glorious as the Gloria at the Easter vigil, I love these songs too much to exercise this discipline fully.

My favorite Christmas song used to be “O Holy Night,” and it remains the song I enjoy most for its melodic quality. But “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” is simply unmatched in its ability to make me thrill at the story of salvation and sing louder than my talent warrants. If we are going to use Christmas music to harken back to times past, why look any nearer than the Nativity? Songs like “Jingle Bells” and “The Christmas Song” cannot paint half as tranquil or heartwarming a picture as “It Came upon the Midnight Clear.”

As I said, I recognize that these songs have an affective appeal for many, and I hesitate to describe anyone’s emotional preferences in pejorative terms. Indeed, it’s how I justified going to Singspiration on Sunday nights. But rather than give the impression that I dislike certain songs because they’re not about Jesus, I wanted to explore the reasons for my growing disdain toward them. And, having done so, I can only remain convinced that joy of the Incarnation grows only more wondrous with contemplation. Entangling its significance with aught else—especially a longing for what cannot be (and which for most, I suspect, never was)—is to diffuse the Light that has come into the world, the Light in light of Which—like cold-blooded creatures—we live and move and have our being.

Christ is born. Glorify Him!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Blown

Monday, the Rangers came back twice, including two in the ninth, to beat the Blue Jays and start off 2010 in dramatic fashion. Today, Franktastic threw CJ Wilson's beautiful outing into Vernon Wells's wheelhouse. It's probably not helping that, on my wall, I still have the 2009 Rangers calendar up, with September's picture of Hank Blalock janking everything up. In other news, Guerrero and Cruz are the only Rangers who can hit baseballs.

Monday, September 03, 2007

You'll find Murphy and his law behind the toolshed

Soon after buying tickets for last night's Rangers game, I realized that I was already committed to helping with Evensong at church. Last game the Rangers have here this season, so it figures. The decision was whether to book it from church about 7:00 to see the last two or three innings, or just to go home. Naturally, if I skipped it the Rangers would win in dramatic fashion, and if I went, they would lose 12-3. The lesser of the two evils had my brother and I in our seats by the top of the eighth. Which was the inning Scott Sheilds decided to implode. Despite C.J. Wilson's antics in the ninth, it was unaduterated sweetness.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Let us forgive Sammy

I had fans all around me tonight saying some rather unkind things about Sosa when he came up in the ninth tonight. He started to swing, thought better of it, but finished anyway and dumped a game-tying single into right field. I leaped to my feet and asked everyone within earshot if they liked that. Nineteen games out, I had a moment, which is more than I can say for any of the other games I've been to at what I've come to realize is the worst stadium in southern California. Details to follow.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sorry. Had to do something there.

As of the first of the year, California began paying five and ten cents for beverage containers < 24 oz. and > 24 oz., respectively. For the time being, customers were still paying only four and eight cents at the register for the same containers. If recycling was not up to 75% by July first, the extra pennies got tacked on. They got tacked on.

As I understand it, the R in CRV stands for redemption. As in, you can redeem your container for the deposit you put down against it. Stop killing the earth and you get your money back. Soon after this was implemented, I remember a machine outside our local Williams' Bros. (later Vons) that you could put cans and bottles in and receive change back. It was broken often. Today, I drove probably 20 miles trying to find a recycling center that was A) open, B) accepting glass, plastic, and aluminum, and C) not sporting a 30 minute line. All for $6.25. I probably spent half that in gas. Most of the recycling centers around here have within the last year gone to a 4:30 closing time, including the self-serve parts. I'm sure this works well for most working individuals.

Look California: it's a tax. Call it a freaking tax and give me some easier way to get rid of my bottles. I actually do not want to throw them away. I even save my plastic grocery bags to take back to the store for recycling. But don't tell me "we're taking your money so you will come get it back" and make me jump through flaming hoops to get it. That's just dumb.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

"What will we do, each of us, now that we know?"


This quote from the cover of a March issue of Sports Illustrated is refering to the dreams broken by the knowledge of steroid use. I want to use it to address a wider issue I see in sports, something along the lines of, if not contempt, at least a sort of de-mythification of sport bred by an unwholesome familiarity.

I can still remember the PA announcer at Arlington Stadium bringing Steve Buchele to the plate with a drawn out "BooooSHELL!" I have a picture of me standing next to Bobby Witt (Who was robbed by Gary Cederstrom of a perfect game on 6/23/94). Going to Dodger games were once-a-year and all day experiences.

A recent Bud Light commercial expresses my sentiments unwittingly. An old time baseball player apparently calls his shot, makes good on his word, and the announcers wonder astonishedly, "What drives a man to such greatness?!" Meanwhile, the batter is heard muttering "Bud Light Bud Light Bud Light," as he rounds the bases.

At its essense, professional sport is simply that: a profession. Yet without being more, it cannot remain even that. It appears that this post is tying itself in with a previous one, and I suspect my current complaint stems from the same issue--merely couched more generaly.

Neither professional sport nor its fans can exist without the other. And for years, there has existed a gap between the two, one both necessary and beneficial. Recently, however, a third group has spontaneously generated itself betwixt the two, with an aim to sustain itself by drawing its neighbors ever nearer, and likewise changing both of those groups. Those in this third group are the analysts. Their product--more information than anyone needs--needs a consumer, and they have found such in the fantasy sports fan.

For years, I would listen to Dodger games on a small radio (one designed to look like a baseball, that I got at a Ranger game in Texas and have since tragically misplaced) in bed as I fell asleep. After each game, Vin Scully would do the Dodgers Post Game Show, in which the highlights were recounted, AL and NL scores related, and one player interviewed. That was it. Now, we have hordes of reporters in the locker rooms, such that on tv we can practically watch our favorite athletes take a shower. Tonight at Carl's Jr., ESPNews was on, and my entier meal saw me watch New York Giants standing behind a microphone at a press conference saying something I couldn't and didn't want to hear. Because it's always the same.

"We just wanted to go out there and give 110%, but you gotta give the other team credit. They're a quality team, and we just gave it everything we had..." Multiple problems:

1. Professional athletes today are as well spoken as the macaws at the San Diego Zoo.
2. Reporters ask questions designed to illicit empty answers.
3. If any athlete actually did give a substantial answer, he would doubtless be given the Terell Owens treatment.
4. Profesional sport cannot stand up to the level of scrutiny the Analysts give it.

What are they trying to accomplish? They birthed the armchair athlete. The Analysts run games through their logarithms, coming up with explanations for why what happened did or why what will will, such that the fan listening feels as though he could now replicate the feat on the field, and the athlete listening figures perhaps in the Analysts' world that's why, when in reality, he just did what he had trained to do.

We are losing the ability to love our players. Can you truly idolize someone when you have seen every aspect of their swing critiqued, heard them talk about their performance with a sterility more becoming of a politician? How soon before we reach a point where, to declare oneself the luckiest man on the face of the earth, would be merely a slap in the face of all other earth-bound equals?

I want to live and die with each pitch, each snap, each pad save; not because it did or didn't play out according to the in-game schematic diagram I have staring at me from the television sidebar, but because these are the players for whom I cheer and boo and raise a hallabaloo.

I am not mandating a complete state of childlike innocence (and ignorance) about it all. I simply want sport to regain some of its mythical aura. Perhaps Ron Burgandy was right: "This thing is gonna be a...cultural disaster...SportsCenter."

Monday, September 19, 2005

A conversation recently overheard in heaven

Michael, how long has it been since I tried to turn southern California into a swamp?

Oh, four months or so.

Mm hm. Then we followed that up with those two weeks of blue blazes, now I remember. What's it been like lately down there?

I overheard John saying it was the best weather he'd seen all year.

Did he. He's fun to screw with. Anything on his schedule worth noting?

Let's see... Well, he just got some new toys for his bike for his birthday yesterday that he was looking forward to using tomorrow morning. Oh oh! And he has tickets to watch the Rangers play in Anaheim tomorrow night. Last series of the season.

Well shoot the horse and slap me silly! I'm calling up thunder and lightning for this one!

_________


Come on. Just. Come on.