If you were queen of the road
You're not, and never will be, so listen up. This will begin an occasionally updated list of common driving courtesies that most fail to practice. All described situations obviously have special mitigating circumstances, so don't argue hypotheticals with me.
1. When approaching a red light at an intersection with no dedicated right-turn lane through which you intend to travel straight ahead:
A. Avoid being in the right lane. It is annoying to want to make a right turn, only to be the first car behind the only one that isn't turning.
B. If (A.) is unavoidable, stay as close to the left edge of your lane as possible. Those with small cars may be able to squeeze between you and the curb. Those with Expeditions and such are morons who are driving up the price of gas for everyone and deserve to wait until hell freezes over.
2. If the intersection has a left tur lane, and you are in the first straight lane next to it:
A. Kiss the ass of the car ahead of you. If you have to wait for the car behind you to stop to make sure you don't get rear-ended and hit the car ahead of you--fine. But then scoot up, and get out of your car and encourage other drivers behind you to do the same. Not being able to get into a left-turn lane because of those who either can't judge distance or are scared to pull up alongside the most-likely-scary-as-hell person in the adjacent lane is piss annoying.
B. If you are close to the opening to the left-turn lane, do a (1.B.) to the right.
3. If you are driving an Expedition or such, and hug my ass after the light goes green, and pull out as soon as you get the chance to go around me, I HAD DAMN WELL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. If you waste all that gas because you think you're in a hurry, and I pass you back when I finally get up to speed, you should lose your license. Be patient, or be actually fast, but don't be the worst.
4. Use your turn indicator if there's a remote chance your action could affect anyone within a country mile.
5. Don't yield for pedestrians in the crosswalk unless you would litterally mow them down. Some intersections are big, and some pedestrians are very slow. If they're not to you yet, go; if they're past you, go. Just go, damn it.
6. Do not ever use your horn unless it is to avoid an accident. As in, "If I do not honk right now, bodily injury will most likely occur."
7. Encourage any who might not understand these concepts to resign their driving privileges.
7 Comments:
Amen, especially to the first two. If intend to go straight and get caught as the first person in the right lane, if there is someone behind me with a blinker on, sometimes I turn right just out of guilt, especially if I know the light isn't going to green soon.
In fact, that's my exception to #6: If I'm an inch from being able to turn right on a red but the oblivious person ahead of me doesn't see me in the mirror and he has plenty of room to scoot forward, I'll tap the horn lightly to get his attention and make a "roll the fuck forward" gesture with my hands. Then I love it when he points to the red light, like "I can't move," but he haven't even crossed the first limit line.
I disagree with #6. People like me, who are perfect drivers, should be able to honk at individuals who show their stupidity and lack of courtesy when they:
- START a left-hand turn in front of you when their light is turning red
- Stop all traffic on a busy road to let a jaywalker cross the street
- Try to make a left hand turn in front of you off of a side street while you're on the main street left hand turn lane and have the right of way
- Turn out from a side street into your lane RIGHT in front of you and make you slam on your breaks or weave into the other lane to avoid hitting them
- Slow down an entire lane of traffic to about 10 or more miles per hour less than the speed limit (because they don't pull their car as far to the right as possible to keep the flow going)--without using a turn signal--and come to almost a stand-still before turning right
While we're at it, I hate people who turn out from side streets into the island (or better yet, the people who turn out in front of left hand turn lanes) to wait for an opening on the main road. It freaks all drivers out because it looks like they're heading straight for their cars.
How about those drivers that are making a left turn and nearly side swipe you in the right lane so they can turn wide enough to complete the turn...as if one lane isn't enough. Same thing for making a right turn.
Oh yeah. Double-honk for university employees and students who do the following on the way to the university:
- Throw trash and/or cigarettes out of their cars
- Pass a "slow" (usually over speed limit) car using the lane on the opposite side of the road (oncoming trafifc)
I can't even count the number of times I have seen both of these happen and then watched the car turn into the university driveway.
I think I might be willing to budge a little on #6, but you must also consider this: is the action you are honking at one you could imagine justfying if you were that driver? I make it a habit, as soon as I find myself grinding my teeth/swearing at my dashboard to put myself in her shoes and wonder if I might not do the same thing.
I can say, because I've consciously thought about it in such situations, that I don't honk at somebody who inconveniences me if it is something I have done before or something I might have done if in his position. For example, if someone pulls out in front of me and slows me down, but it's his only chance in a neverending line of cars, I can sympathize with his dilemma and don't honk.
I wouldn't honk at that either. The majority of the time when people pull right in front of me, I look in my rearview mirror and see that there is NO ONE behind me.
I don't honk when people seem to be making legitimate mistakes. People just drive like asses because other people let them. I like letting them know I don't think it's acceptable. I'm a courteous driver (besides the honking) would like other people to be too.
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