Loss of innocence

I was driving Mac, my coworker, back to his car after work yesterday. Even as the words were in my mouth (condemning me...) about how I drive on campus, I heard the toy booping noise. I do not know where that bastard was hiding, because I know where to look for them. Takes my license, tells me to "sit tight there John," and goes back to his car to call in what he's just caught. Must have been proud of it, too, because he comes back and says "hey, wasn't I just in orientation with you last week?" ............................ What. the. hell.

I refrained from asking him if I was his first one, and did not mention any pitted fruits. He went easy on me, though. So I didn't even pay for the experience. Which does not mean that any element of the incident was consensual.