Misnomers

Before getting to the issue of names and how they caused the Orioles to blow the game tonight, I want to address what happened in the bottom of the 10th. With two outs, Sammy Sosa tried to win the game by scoring from second on a line drive base hit to center. Gary Matthews, Jr.'s throw had already cooked chicken and dumplings by the time Sosa arrived for the play at the plate, so what did he do? HE WENT IN WITH HIS RIGHT SPIKE A FOOT OFF THE GROUND. Watch the replay; it's disgusting. When Rod Barajas tried to figure out what the hell had just happened, Sosa popped up quickly and said something reassuring and patted the side of Barajas's face. Almost as quickly as he picked up bat shards a while ago... Both benches emptied, and Barajas had to leave the game due to an injured left forearm. This from the guy who tonight moved into sole possession of 5th place on the career home run list. Which puts two assholes in the top five. Terrific. On to business.

The Orioles managed to bungle tonight's game against the Rangers, much to my delight. After the themometer read 120 on the field yesterday at 3:00 p.m. in Baltimore, today's game was delayed because of rain. After being up 5-0, the O's fell behind 8-6, but tied it in the ninth, only to lose 11-8 on Matthew's 3-run shot in the 11th. Things the Bird's need to fix:

They have two guys on their team named B. J., and one of them (Surhoff) has been playing since 1987 and is somehow not a DH. The other, Ryan, looks funny. Not to mention the problems associated with having your closer named "B. J." I mean really, think about that.

He also has problem number two: having a first name for a last name (along with Chris Ray, Geronimo Gil, and Jorge Julio).

And there's number three: having the same first and last initial (Julio, Melvin Mora, Gil, and Sammy Sosa). All of these are considered in relation to the most infamous double deuce of all time, Gary Gaetti, who can be seen here feeling sorry for himself and his name.

Incidentally, the O's announcers also made the mistake of using "plate" as a verb multiple times in the series, apparently to remind listening fans exactly where it is that runs occur.

Meanwhile, Bud Selig stayed on his power trip and ruled on the appeal of legislation that he had both drafted and enforced with regard to Kenny Rogers.